if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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