Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize