Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
