Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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