It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
