At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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