it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I won't apologize to a one balled man
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize