their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize