Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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