Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
