There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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