i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
