Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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