Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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