She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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