somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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