Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
