Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
