Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am one with the molecules
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
