I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
