he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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