please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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