community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
