yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
