Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
