No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
