Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize