erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
