It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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