That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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