Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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