Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
