I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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