is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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