last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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