there was a trapeze. enough said
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize