remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize