well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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