Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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