i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
