wakey wakey hands off snakey
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
