As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
