K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize