i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
