well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
