Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You took a bar mat shot.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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