so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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