NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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