Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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