I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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