Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So squirting runs in the family.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
