ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
