His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
