I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
