I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
