on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize