I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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