quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
