I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
